Imagine a situation.. You are supposed to meet your old friend in a cafe after long years. Both of you have talked about much about how would you enjoy the time. You reached there. The proposed meeting time elapsed .Your friend did not turn up. Rather your mobile phone buzzes. It is your friend who tells that due to some official emergency he/she can not come today. He/she will phone you later for a meeting in a later date.Ask yourself. Wouldn’t you be in severe melancholy at least for some hours?? Yes, you are in an existential pain.
Following Kantian logic (from whom enlightenment begins and subsequent industrial revolutions) your pain is meaningless. Your friend has prioritized his/her schedule and gave more importance to his/her office work than meeting you. But human existence can hardly be caged in such logic (cause and effect). The mere fact that your friend has given more importance to his/her office (material) than you (conscious being) will cause you severe pain.
Now take the same illustration once again and let us change it a little bit. Your friend rang you and told you that he/she can not come because of some family reasons. Now what would be your feelings? Would not your melancholy be less severe? Are not you feeling less pain in this case? Yes it should be so as you (conscious being) are now competing with a similar counterpart (another conscious being or beings) and not with an (material) ‘office’.
Human life is, essentially, a series of such existential pains. But the point I want to mention for the hypothetical readers of my blog is that we must endeavor to reduce these existential pains of each other. So, when you promise to your child in the morning before going out for office that you would come early and play with your son/daughter you should keep that promise. Don’t let the fresh new project that your office has undertaken (for which you may receive a fat bonus) to spoil the mood of your child .Don‘t inflict an existential pain upon him/her/them. And, remember life is made of moments. So don’t make an excuse that you will double the playing time in some other day. Please don’t be a successful man who works almost 18 hrs a day, earns huge but can hardly spell his son/daughter’s name. Alas! What is the meaning of success?
Great post! It really gets me thinking. On the one hand, I totally agree with the parent/ child situation because kids completely live in the moment. Promising to double-up some later time will be virtually meaningless to them.
ReplyDeleteOn the other, as relates to adults, I was struck by the difference in the mood of the person being stood up. In both scenarios, the other person is saying, "I can't make it today" although the reasons WHY vary.
But the receiver of that information then CHOOSES to respond with indignation when he or she judges that the reason is not valid enough. That person also CHOOSES to understand and be sympathetic when they themselves can appreciate the reason for being stood up.
No matter WHY the other person cancelled, we could choose to just be OK with it, be understanding, and go on to enjoy our meal alone, rather than impose our judgement of what WE consider a valid or invalid reason for cancelling. For all we know, that job doesn't just provide a paycheck, but provides the medical insurance that allows him to care for his ailing child in the hospital!
You never know what lies in the hearts of men.
Thanks for a thought-provoking post. I'm looking forward to reading the rest.
serene_balance,
ReplyDeleteI feel glad that you liked my post and my thoughts.
Relating to adults... wouldn't the mood of the stood up person vary according to reasons? Is it 'just ok and enjoy the meal alone'?
Yeah, Its true that job is also the provider of medical insurance.But the meeting was planned considering that very fact itself.
And an addition : existential pain is not only for the stood-up person but for the canceller too.He is no demon either.
All the same, many thanks for the comment.thinking of the next post very soon (probably the next weekend).